Taking Stock (PDF)
The following lists and questions will help you identify the unfinished business in your life.
10 BIG QUESTIONS
♦ Think of all your relationships -- friends, relatives, friends, rivals, teachers, coaches, ministers, rabbis, mentors, former teammates and classmates, co-workers and bosses, former spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends or crushes, your children. Are any of these relationships particularly tense or unresolved?
♦ Have you lost touch with someone who had once been important to you? Would you like to re-connect with that person?
♦ Is there a person you have trouble forgiving?
♦ Is there a person who torments your psyche or plagues your dreams? Do you find yourself wishing that this person would fail, get hurt or even die?
♦ Is there someone you worry about -- or wonder about --who you haven’t seen in years?
♦ Does something or someone make you feel ignored, misunderstood, unappreciated, wronged or invisible?
♦ Is there a person you wronged in some major or minor way who died before you could make amends?
♦ Is there anyone who died without knowing how much he or she meant to you?
♦ Is there an important task you keep putting off because it seems too difficult and time-consuming to complete?
♦ Is there something you find yourself doing or not doing that seems entirely opposed to your core values or the person you’d like to be?
20 COMMON WRONGS
(when applicable, check off and fill in the blanks)
____ I took unfair advantage of ________________________
____ I snubbed ________________________
____ I insulted ________________________
____ I betrayed ________________________
____ I stabbed _________________________ in the back
____ I nursed a grudge against ________________________
____ I embarrassed ________________________
____ I humiliated ________________________
____ I spread false rumors about ________________________
____ I undermined ________________________’s project or goals
____ I turned away from ____________________when he or she was in need
____ I broke a promise to________________________
____ I lied to ________________________
____ I stole from ________________________
____ I bullied ________________________
____ I was unkind to ________________________
____ I cheated on ________________________
____ I disappointed ________________________
____ I ignored ________________________
____ I spoke harshly to ________________________
10 COMMON NEGLECTS
(check the categories that nag at you the most, then specify to whom, what and why)
I neglected to...
_____ do what I said I’d do
_____ pay back a debt
_____ express the love or gratitude I felt
_____ attend my friend’s wedding
_____ attend my relative’s funeral
_____ help a friend in need
_____ stand up for someone who was wronged
_____ reciprocate a kindness
_____ answer an important phone call or e-mail
_____ stay in touch
7 COMMON "SHOULD HAVES"
♦ I should have been a better ________________ (son, daughter, husband, wife, father, mother, partner, friend)
♦ I should have told _________________ what he or she meant to me
♦ I should have kept my promise to _________________
♦ I should have listened more attentively to _______________
♦ I should have been there when ______________ needed me
♦ I should have been less _______________ (proud, disrespectful, greedy, self-serving, vindictive)
♦ I should have been more __________________ (generous, giving, caring, courageous, humble, forgiving)