Are You Happy, Daddy?
Children and parents want the same thing for each other -- to be happy.
As Father's Day 2010 approaches, I am looking at a video I made eleven years ago, when our twins were only two-and-a-half. I always love watching this video, but suddenly it's taken on an important new meaning to me.
In the video, Benjamin and Caroline mangle their newly attained vocabulary while mugging adorably for the camera. Caroline asks over and over again, "Are you happy, Daddy?" And to her giggly delight, I answer "yes."
Looking back, though, I wasn't happy. I was a workaholic who cared way too much about my job. Even when I was home playing with my children, or putting them to bed, my mind was tethered to work.
Until I got fired from that job and took stock of my life, I didn't realize how disconnected I had become from my wife and children. As I wrote in UNFINISHED BUSINESS, my new book: "The worst part of being so focused on my work was the relationship it kept me from having with my children: Benjamin said he was afraid to approach me, and Caroline told the babysitter, 'Daddy never smiles.'" The girl who wanted so badly for her daddy to be happy at age two had become aware, by age eleven, that her daddy was miserable.
That realization hurt me into taking action. I spent an entire year tending to my life's unfinished emotional and spiritual business. I paid back old debts, fulfilled promises I hadn't kept, reached out to friends and relatives that I hadn't seen for years, and told the people I loved how much they mattered to me. In the process I started to reorder my priorities and become a more present and attentive husband, father, son.
It's made a huge difference in my life. When Caroline asks, "Are you happy, Daddy?" I can honestly say yes. If your child asks you that same question, can you?
Comments
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on June 18, 2010
Well, I’m not a dad, nor a parent and I could say that makes me “not happy”, but moreover I can identify with worrying too much about work and not “living” life in ways that matter and fulfill. It’s sad that our society forces people to spend a great deal of time worrying about and focusing on earning money through working for others. In the process we miss out on so much. I’m glad that you are taking this opportunity to enjoy the treasures that you have and what makes life truly enjoyable. Love.
Posted by καζινο on November 17, 2011
suddenly it’s taken on an important new meaning to me.
Posted by Telephone Answering Service on November 17, 2011
I was home playing with my children, or putting them to bed, my mind was tethered to work.
Posted by Web Design on November 25, 2011
In the video, Benjamin and Caroline mangle their newly attained vocabulary while mugging adorably for the camera.
Posted by Online dating on January 05, 2012
I started to reorder my priorities and become a more present and attentive husband, father, son.
Posted by Academic Essay Writing on February 21, 2012
This is so sad:( but the baby in the video is co cute..
I’ve been writing essays for how many years and today I’m more on academic essay writing and I’m happy to be like my dad, a professional writer.
Posted by Bodybuilding Supplements on March 26, 2012
Hmmm… I hope my kid will not ask me that kind of question. I don’t now how to hide my feelings and lied about it.
Posted by Automotive Lifts on March 26, 2012
How touching. Although I am not yet a dad but hopefully I will balanced my time between my kid and my job. Family first before anything else.
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Posted by culinary training on April 24, 2012
This is my dream to have an own family with my kids but I can wait for it.